Alone on the highest wire, no where to go but up. Obstacles are just illusions. Illusions in the form of tests. Will you love yourself or numb yourself? Sometimes we think we are stuck alone when we are really just floating, waiting, to enter the sky. This final move is the final key to nirvana. The final moment of giving it all back. Security or love? Comfort or love? Money or love? Alone on the highest wire, no where to go but up. You decide the final move.
I know I was always a little off, a little to the left when you said right. A little bit east when you said west. I was never perfect, far from it. I tried my best to give you quality but often times I could only grant you quantity. At least it was a quantity of love, something I never fell short on. You teased me, you scolded me, I couldn’t help but not change. Every word I spoke, every thought I had was left outside to rot as the doors to your heart remain closed. No service allowed, from 12am to 12pm. I know I was always a little off and I know you don’t like to listen to me, but at the end of the day, you can come talk to me for my heart is always ready to listen. Although I was always a little off my heart is always open.
The sight of thrills approved the feeling my consciousness was craving. The spirit inside me wanted to escape for the day, to come alive, to feel the way it was meant to feel. Between an atmosphere covered in relentless Deja Vu, my soul broke free. Freedom succumbed the body and everything was right again. The feeling felt familiar, the way it was always supposed to, the way it had already been written. It was time for the soul to take the reins, guide the body to the riches of happiness the mind had always been trying to find. I was flowing now; I will flow forever.
The moment was never dull, and although I couldn’t thank everyone for their impact on my life for the past 30 years, I could allow them to feel my energy. A middle ground of energy, somewhere between the vast blue sky and the radiant rays emitted from the sun. I come here often to feel the mutual energies of the people on this planet, but more so to align myself, to ground myself. Detach myself from the little voice in my head, subtly bullying me in attempts to disapprove my worth. To break the reservoirs in my heart and allow the river to run free, like deer’s do in the wild. Some would say this spot is holy, some would say this spot is everything, I just call it paradise.
I was once invigorated by the way the buildings antennae’s hid behind the clouds. I used to think they were afraid to come out. The same way the man was afraid to show his love. He thought he didn’t deserve to show love, he didn’t know what it was like to love unconditionally. So he too would sympathize with the antennas instead ducking behind pillows and only expressing his real self when he was behind closed doors. He was all too familiar with the suppression’s of the city until the sun came out and the clouds went away. The antennas were fully exposed and he felt alone. No one left to sympathize with, no company left to share his misery with. He knew he had to grow, he knew he had to let his love shine. He stuck his head out the window and from the depths of his vocal cords screamed the biggest “I love you!!!” for the whole city to hear. His journey had started, transcendence was in his future.
Laying in bed at night with a sliver of hope that one of these days you will recognize the blood, sweat, and tears I have put into my craft. The taunting process has taught me one of the most influential lessons my mind has yet to learn. An infinite amount of efforts can never earn validation through someone at a lower stage of consciousness than the consciousness of the efforts being given. The soul already knows this and acts in love no matter what. Like the last runner in the race, the mind plays catch up to learn the lesson. A disciplined mind will understand, a naive mind must mature through many generations to grasp this lesson. Simply allow your soul to hold your minds hand through this lesson for your mind is much too scared at this present moment to be alone.
If I had one wish I would wish for my wish to be taken away and never given back, for everything in my life has happened through love and I would never alter the lessons of you and I. Although we didn’t work out today, we may work out tomorrow, and although we didn’t work out last year, we may work out next year. The lessons you have taught me are second to none and the light you have given me shines on forever. Thank you for letting me share your heart and thank you for allowing my soul to shine through, I love you!
I’ve been waiting an eternity to hold you, to hold your hand and rub my skin against yours, the anticipation has shriveled my heart from the whopping size it once was, the patience I learned from this anticipation has allowed my soul to glow through the skin of my physical body. You have turned my flesh into that of an angel, and although I have waited an eternity to hold you, I would wait ten more to do it again, and then another ten to do it for a third time! You are my soul mate, I love you forever!