You knew what you were doing when you led me pass your boundaries to the very center of your world. The depths of your heart into the forgiving fortress of your soul. I’ve always sensed your pleasure to live, but I never saw it until now and wow is it bright. It is everything I thought it was and then some. I couldn’t have dreamt of anything like it because my mind never stored any visuals that were so amazing, so gorgeous, breathtaking. Although I’ve been alive for decades, it feels like today was the day I just started living, thank you!
An I love You is worth more than 1,000 followers. It is comparable to that of the warmest hug, like a momma grizzly bear hugs her three cubs. It’s like drinking hot cocoa while sitting naked in the snow, feeling the warm thick liquid run down your throat. It’s like goosebumps on your skin as you rub against your dearest lover. It elevates your soul when you feel your body sinking. Three words representing the source of everything. An I love You is worth more than 1,000 followers.
Skin dryer than the city air, he sits alone at his desk fending off the branched off doubts of his ambitions. He craves energy, so he looks to the sun. Rays reflecting off the skyscraper windows, he walks amongst zombies disguised as people. The city has become a breeding ground for this type. Somewhere along the way, they buried their love, to a place deeper than their hearts, deeper than the most central cells of their body. He doesn’t want to fall into this trap, but it is almost inevitable as the city is powerful. His ambitions become his only hope as they are the only testament to carry out his hearts intentions of love. A level head allows a heart submerged with love to breakthrough from the depths of the furthest wall the city has constructed inside him. Will he allow his heart to break the walls down or will he suppress and conform to the zombies of the city? Although the branched off doubts of his ambitions are stronger than most, the rays still reflect strong off the windows of the tower turning the dryness of his skin to a moist layer of hope. He is ready for the test, he is ready for the city.
There’s a lot to learn in the uptight poisons of our mind. We try and try and try only to fall and try again. If this is what it takes to get there, then I will fall again. I will fall until my pants split, I will fall until my hands bleed, I will fall until I cry. I will fall forever because every fall means I get to rise back up again, to a newer level, even better than the one before.
Giving giving giving, to myself first always. Growing what was once faint inside me to an illustrious energy, similar to that of a sunflower. It was as if I waited forever, until I realized eternity didn’t have a clock. Forever was now and now was forever, the energy was and is always growing, always nurturing, and the times when I felt like it was gone was a reminder for me to understand that it never left. I will always give, and then I will give more!
Going wild, because I can’t take away the marks. Every mark you left on me reminds me of all the love you left with me, as the marks go unmatched, unparalleled to the feelings I have had before. I am convinced that going wild is the only cure for me. Take away all the anxieties, the fear of being lost, the fear of failure, the fear of success. I am for certain this feeling is the only truth as I feel my heart beat surge with a little bit of insanity mixed with a whole lot of fulfillment. Until the clock strikes infinity, until the moment doesn’t move, I will keep your marks of love, I will always be going wild.
If you were to ask me, I would tell you that you deserve more. I would tell you to keep giving to yourself. I would tell you that I understand what it feels like to sit alone and see what you thought you always had leave. I would tell you that I too know what it’s like to have a path that has been paved out for you shatter to pieces, a future you attached yourself to turn out to be an illusion. I too know what it feels like to start fresh. I would tell you to keep going. I would tell you that you don’t have to listen to the others. I would say you have to listen to yourself. I would tell you to kiss yourself. Smother yourself in the juiciest kisses you have ever given. I would tell yourself to smile every time you see your reflection because no one deserves to see a smile more than you. If you were to ask me, I would tell you that you deserve more.
I’m sorry but I always get this way sometimes, I take things personal when I am free, I am stubborn when I’m selfless, I am confined to freedom, I am tired of being awake, I am too awake when I feel tired, I feel like things fall into place when they don’t work out, I feel like you make your own destiny when things don’t work out. Why do I feel happy when I am sad? Why do I feel sad when I am happy? Why does the shortest road lead to greatness? Why does the longest road lead to hardships? I tried fast forwarding to the past but instead I rewinded to the future, on the journey I cruised along a rocky path and then stumbled along the smooth pavement, my dream filled with ghosts was overtaken by my nightmare filled with spirits, through all the highs that felt like lows and all the lows that felt like highs, a duality of two opposites is always best in balance as one.
Filled to the top, your heart never cheats abundance. It couldn’t cheat even if it wanted to because it only knows authenticity. At times your mind will convince you of things you need but your heart stays full, pumping love throughout your body, marinading every organ with love and joy. Emptiness will never be an option because your heart never cheats love.
Like a prisoner held captive, you’ve got my love forever. Keep it and hold onto it. Wear it when you go to sleep at night, longing for someone’s presence because for some reason you can’t seem to feel complete. Use it to pick you up when you have fallen down. Use it to raise you when you are feeling low. I give it to you in bountiful amounts with no reciprocations. Please shelter it and grow it, for this love is valuable and unconditional. It is yours always.